Beautiful Words: How to Embrace Words That Heal

Jun 23

“Make it a habit to compliment and speak kindly to others. They will remember both what you said and how your words made them feel.”

Take a moment to recall and write the 3 most beautiful or memorable compliments that you have received in your lifetime. Pause reading while you do so. Now, what are the 3 things, and how long did it take you to remember them?

A few weeks ago, my poetry class was asked to do the same by our teacher, the beautiful poet, Vogue Robinson. We were asked to write down all the beautiful things that have been said to us since childhood. To the surprise of the class, our minds defaulted to the negative things that were said about us, and we had to clear the negative clutter from our minds in order to reach the beautiful words. We remembered all the rejection letters received from agents and publishing companies, all the negative things said by parents and teachers, discouraging words by supervisors at work, traumatic arguments in relationships, and even teasing words from classmates. Some memories were over 30 years old and should have been long forgotten, but they remained in our consciousness.

Why does our mind default to negative thoughts, and how do we reprogram our minds to filter out words that hurt and cling to the beautiful words that heal? There is a theory that our minds are wired to prioritize negative experiences as a survival mechanism, a concept known as "negativity bias." This bias can be traced back to our ancestors, who needed to remember dangerous situations to avoid them in the future. It is thought that if we remember everything negative that has been said or done to us, we can put up walls to protect ourselves. However, this often works against us, overshadowing the positive experiences and making us slow to recall the words that could uplift and heal us. Here are a few ways to override that default mechanism:

Practice Gratitude

Start a gratitude journal and write down positive words and compliments you receive daily. Create and repeat positive affirmations to reinforce beautiful words in your mind.

2. Surround Yourself with Positivity

Spend time with people who uplift you and speak kindly. Pay attention to the words you hear and choose to focus on the positive ones.

3. Reflect and Reframe

When negative words come to mind, reflect on them and reframe them in a positive light. If someone has been particularly mean or unfair, consider that their words have very little to do with you; that person is reflecting the hurt, pain, and fear that is in their own heart.

4. Celebrate Small Wins

Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Most importantly, create a memory bank that holds them.

5. Share Kind Words

Make it a habit to compliment and speak kindly to others, creating a cycle of positivity. Maybe someone doing this exercise will remember your kind words.

Mindfulness Exercise

If your mind is prone to negative thoughts, sit in a quiet and safe space. For a moment, let the flood of negative things pass through without protest. Clear out the clutter but don’t dwell. Once the mind is clear, make room for some truths. Inhale and exhale until your breathing is calm and peaceful, let your body relax, allow a smile to form, and focus on the beautiful things, the beautiful people, and all the beautiful words throughout your life that have made you smile.

Writing Prompt

Write all the positive, life-affirming statements or compliments that you have received. Choose 5 that resonated with you or were impactful to your life and keep them close. Finally, remember that the voice that should be the most important is your own voice, so write 5 beautiful truths that you know deep in your soul about yourself.

Don’t let negativity be your default. Deprogram and reprogram your mind to see the best in yourself and remember the power of beautiful words.

Have a blessed and beautiful week!

Janet

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